1 00:00:11,302 --> 00:00:12,345 They're back. 2 00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:14,931 Oh, yeah. 3 00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:16,141 [people chuckling] 4 00:00:16,182 --> 00:00:18,685 - Jim and Pam. - How was Puerto Rico? 5 00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:20,186 - Was it so romantic? - It was. 6 00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:22,355 - It really was. - Really was. 7 00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:24,190 I'm so happy for you. 8 00:00:24,232 --> 00:00:25,650 Puerto Rico was awesome. 9 00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,694 Oh, my gosh, the honeymoon was great. 10 00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:29,362 We met this other couple at the resort, 11 00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:30,447 Frank and Benny. 12 00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:31,698 We hung out with them a lot. 13 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,700 [goofy voice] Frank and beans. 14 00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:35,952 - [laughs] - Always makes her laugh. 15 00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:37,704 [goofy voice] Frank and beans. 16 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:38,997 [laughs] 17 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,623 Is there someone there? 18 00:00:40,665 --> 00:00:42,042 Who is there? 19 00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:43,501 I hear voices, is somebody there? 20 00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:45,086 Yeah! 21 00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:47,797 Is someone here? I can't see you. 22 00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:49,674 Because I'm blind. 23 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,009 It's Jim and Pam, Michael. 24 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,594 - [gasps] It is? - Yeah. 25 00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:55,722 They're back? Oh! Oh! 26 00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:57,390 Oh, Pam! 27 00:00:57,432 --> 00:00:58,516 Nope. 28 00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:01,269 And oh, Jim... 29 00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:02,645 Hi, Michael. 30 00:01:02,687 --> 00:01:06,524 Oh, I haven't seen you since my accident that I had 31 00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:12,739 when I fell--I fell into the pool of acid, eyes-first. 32 00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:15,825 Blind guy. 33 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,535 Blind Guy McSqueezy. 34 00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:18,745 How do I describe it? 35 00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:20,538 It is a character I've been workshopping 36 00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:24,584 whose lack of vision gets him into all sorts of trouble. 37 00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:29,255 The women in my improv class absolutely hate him. 38 00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:30,757 [groans] 39 00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:33,426 You know, growing up we had a Puerto Rican housekeeper 40 00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:36,388 and she wrote this really pretty song about her family. 41 00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:38,932 She sang it every day. 42 00:01:38,973 --> 00:01:42,477 ♪ Los Bernardos, diablo blanco♪ 43 00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:45,814 ♪ Muerte, muerte, los Bernardos♪ 44 00:01:45,855 --> 00:01:47,565 You don't speak any Spanish, do you? 45 00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:48,775 No, I don't. 46 00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:51,194 Hey, is my old buddy Luis Fortuño 47 00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:52,570 still governor down there? 48 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:54,823 Okay, guys. Why don't we just give them 49 00:01:54,864 --> 00:01:57,492 a little breath of air, let you settle in. 50 00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:59,119 - Thank you. - Okay? 51 00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:06,001 - Thank you. - That's nice. 52 00:02:06,042 --> 00:02:07,836 So what'd you bring us? 53 00:02:07,877 --> 00:02:09,254 Some candy. 54 00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:11,172 - What else? - That's it. 55 00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:14,134 Oh, 'cause you spent so much on the wedding. 56 00:02:14,175 --> 00:02:16,302 It's good to be home. 57 00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:22,392 [groaning] 58 00:02:26,604 --> 00:02:29,482 [groaning continues] 59 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:35,780 {\an8}[cheerful music] 60 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:42,954 {\an8}♪ ♪ 61 00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:56,968 {\an8}This conversation has two items on the agenda. 62 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,636 {\an8}Do we have a conversation scheduled? 63 00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:01,473 {\an8}Number one, do not leave your things on my desk. 64 00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:04,017 {\an8}It's not some kind of personal pen receptacle for you. 65 00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:05,977 {\an8}I don't care how high they promote you. 66 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:08,563 {\an8}Which brings me to item number two. 67 00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:11,232 {\an8}I never formally congratulated you on your promotion. 68 00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:13,651 {\an8}So I'd just like to say... 69 00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:16,446 {\an8}[high-pitched voice] "con-quack-ulations." 70 00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:18,615 {\an8}Wow, that's-- 71 00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:20,658 really thoughtful of you, Dwight, thank you. 72 00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:23,203 {\an8}[duck-like voice] You're welcome. [quacks, laughs] 73 00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:26,247 {\an8}I inserted a listening device into the belly of the mallard. 74 00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:30,168 {\an8}Now I can observe Jim, trap Jim, and destroy Jim. 75 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,504 {\an8}Just like in the Bavarian fairy tale. 76 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:36,633 {\an8}Only this time, the mallard skins the toad alive. 77 00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:37,926 {\an8}[laughs] 78 00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:39,386 {\an8}And of course in this version you lose 79 00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:42,097 {\an8}the whole veiled critique of the Kaiser thing. 80 00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:46,893 {\an8}I'm sorry to have been bugging you all these years. 81 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:48,311 {\an8}It's a real handsome duck. 82 00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:49,437 {\an8}Mallard. 83 00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,564 {\an8}Okay, I'll get out of your hair. 84 00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:55,902 [squeaks on desk] 85 00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,155 {\an8}- Hey. - Hi. 86 00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:00,907 {\an8}Uh, we brought back some Puerto Rican candy. 87 00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:02,659 {\an8}Coco leche. That's my favorite. 88 00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:04,744 {\an8}Awesome. I'll leave it up here so everyone can enjoy it. 89 00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:08,123 {\an8}Oh, um, let me just check with Michael first. 90 00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:09,916 {\an8}[laughs] I think it'll be okay. 91 00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,501 {\an8}[laughs] I think it will too, 92 00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:13,211 {\an8}but I'll just check with him, though. 93 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,504 {\an8}Great. 94 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:15,964 {\an8}Oops. Sorry. 95 00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:17,465 Oops. 96 00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:28,351 {\an8}I have recently taken a lover. 97 00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:29,644 {\an8}- Well, that's great. - Thank you. 98 00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,146 {\an8}Congratulations. 99 00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:32,689 {\an8}Who's the lucky lady? 100 00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:34,899 {\an8}Pam's mom. 101 00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,317 {\an8}What? 102 00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,987 {\an8}Pam's mom, Helene. Remember from your wedding? 103 00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:40,572 You're messing with me. 104 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:41,990 About what? 105 00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,742 You did not have sex with Pam's mom. 106 00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:44,909 Oh, big time. 107 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,077 What kind of car does she drive? 108 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,579 - She drives a green camry. - [bleep] 109 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,998 And the seats go all the way down. 110 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,416 All the way down. 111 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,752 - Oh, my God. - [banging table] 112 00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:54,919 Oh, my God. 113 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,838 {\an8}[laughs] What? 114 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,423 Okay, never tell Pam. 115 00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,050 - And then secondly-- - Okay, good, a pact. 116 00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:01,509 A pact. 117 00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,261 Although I may have to break it tonight 118 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,597 when Helene and I tell Pam over dinner. 119 00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:07,015 You all right? 120 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:09,017 - Oh, my God. - Hey, Jim. 121 00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:11,019 - Not now, Toby, my God! - Oh, Jesus. 122 00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,145 Get the hell out of here, idiot. 123 00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:13,521 What did I do? 124 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,982 Okay, as far as dinner tonight, cancel that. 125 00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:18,068 And please, for both of our sakes, 126 00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:21,905 never, ever, ever see her again. 127 00:05:21,946 --> 00:05:23,615 I think you're underestimating Pam. 128 00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:26,409 I think more than anything, she wants me to be happy. 129 00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,453 No, not more than anything. 130 00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:31,331 Okay, I have a good thing with the mom-- 131 00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:32,582 Don't call her "the mom." 132 00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:33,708 She's right on my way home from work. 133 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,251 Then take a different way home, man! 134 00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:36,544 I di--all right. 135 00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,338 I'll take surface streets, it's-- 136 00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:39,923 the last thing in the world I would want to do 137 00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:41,174 is upset Pam. 138 00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:43,426 - Okay, so we're good. - Yeah. 139 00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:45,553 Could you at least let me brag about the other night? 140 00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:46,930 It was sublime. 141 00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:48,973 I have had some incredible-- okay. 142 00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,767 You know what? 143 00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:52,727 That's disrespectful. 144 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,190 Can you change my dinner reservations 145 00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:58,692 - from four people to two? - Sure. 146 00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:00,694 Oh, is it okay if I put out some candy 147 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,237 that Pam brought back from Puerto Rico? 148 00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:03,988 Sure. Thanks for asking. 149 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:06,366 Pam, we're all set. 150 00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:13,039 Yum. 151 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,167 [goofy voice] Frank and beans. 152 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,585 Frank and beans. 153 00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:19,087 [both laugh] 154 00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:21,506 So what'd we decide for Michael? 155 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,883 The bottle of rum, or the seashell alarm clock? 156 00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,385 You know what? 157 00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:27,095 Can I have the weekend to decide? 158 00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:30,015 Bottle of rum it is. 159 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,599 All right. Shall we? 160 00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:33,601 You know what, I am really slammed 161 00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:35,186 trying to catch up on everything here. 162 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,063 And I know that Michael's slammed too. 163 00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:41,151 So maybe we should do this when things are a little less crazy. 164 00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:46,698 Come on, it'll take two seconds. 165 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,241 No, it-- 166 00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:55,665 [high-pitched feedback] 167 00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:58,710 [feedback changes] 168 00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,591 [sighs] 169 00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:07,260 [feedback] 170 00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:12,057 Oh, wow. 171 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,350 [giggles] 172 00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:14,559 That is amazing. 173 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,353 I feel like a real Puerto Rican. 174 00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:17,771 Michael, you're all set at Botticelli's. 175 00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:19,564 I changed the reservation to two people. 176 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,024 Erin, look. 177 00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:23,443 - Fun. - Yeah. 178 00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:24,819 Wow. 179 00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,905 Botticelli's, that sounds like a special occasion. 180 00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:28,573 Yeah, no, it's nobody. 181 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:31,701 [laughs] I don't know, I think Michael has a date. 182 00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,078 [chuckles] No. 183 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,371 [laughs] I think you have a date. 184 00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:35,747 - I don't. I don't. - Come on. 185 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,499 Uh, I think we should just drop it. 186 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:39,584 'Cause obviously he doesn't want to talk about it. 187 00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,419 [sighs] I don't deserve this, guys. 188 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,504 - Yes, you do. - No, I don't. 189 00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:44,422 Just take the parrot. 190 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,758 - [sighs] - Okay. 191 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,051 Back to the old grind. 192 00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:49,719 I was probably gonna break up with her anyway. 193 00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:52,097 - Oh, that's too bad. - Don't-- 194 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,598 Pam, it is very complicated. 195 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,183 There are a lot of moving parts here. 196 00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:56,601 - Sounds complicated. - It is. 197 00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,395 Yeah, but I mean, if you really like this person, 198 00:07:58,436 --> 00:07:59,813 then you should see where it goes. 199 00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:02,440 - You want me to be happy? - Of course. 200 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,484 Part of the problem is 201 00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:07,654 she is the mother of a close friend of mine. 202 00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,280 Oh. 203 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,491 More than a friend. A coworker. 204 00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:14,828 Oh. Gossip. Who is it? 205 00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:18,498 Who is it? 206 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,918 Who is it, Michael? 207 00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:26,339 Who? 208 00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:27,674 It's okay. 209 00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:31,136 No, no, no, no, no. 210 00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:32,512 Oh, no. 211 00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:35,807 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 212 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,560 Nooo! 213 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:41,146 That could've gone one of two ways, 214 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:44,190 but I never expected her to get upset. 215 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,320 How could you do this to me? 216 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,905 He's my boss! 217 00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:54,492 How many times have I complained about him to you? 218 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,954 No, I am not being dramatic, you are being crazy! 219 00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:02,751 * Who wants a hot chocolate? ♪ 220 00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:04,419 Thank you. 221 00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:08,006 [sighs] 222 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:11,593 Oh, so Dwight gave me this wooden mallard as a gift. 223 00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:15,221 I found a recording device in it. 224 00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:17,349 Yes, so... 225 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,309 I think if I play it just right, 226 00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:20,852 I can get Dwight to live out 227 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:23,396 the plot of "National Treasure". 228 00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:25,648 You need to be more upset about this. 229 00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:29,110 She's your mother too now. 230 00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:32,322 Your mother is sleeping with Michael Scott. 231 00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:37,410 [screams] 232 00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:39,621 I know exactly how Pam is feeling right now. 233 00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:41,289 I've dated a lot of women whose children 234 00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:44,167 absolutely hated me, but I know that-- 235 00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:47,128 [Pam retches] 236 00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:49,464 She's throwing up. 237 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,925 Andy, can I talk to you for a second? 238 00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,802 Sure thing, tuna boss. 239 00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:07,273 How may I be of service to you? 240 00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:10,443 I am gonna need your advice. 241 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:13,405 [plays loud opera music] 242 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:20,578 ♪ ♪ 243 00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:25,959 I was thinking of getting this opera for Dwight's birthday. 244 00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:27,794 What do you think? 245 00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:29,921 [loud music continues] 246 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,590 - This aria is a joke. - Really? 247 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:33,842 What are you thinking? 248 00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:36,886 ♪ ♪ 249 00:10:36,928 --> 00:10:38,263 I was gonna go with this one. 250 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,389 Let me tell you something. 251 00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:40,849 If you respect him at all, 252 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,559 you will get him something better. 253 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:47,647 ♪ ♪ 254 00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:49,899 Bernard Dog, what was that all about? 255 00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:51,192 [chuckling] I know, right? 256 00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:52,569 What were you guys talking about in there? 257 00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:55,113 Trust me, it would only make you mad. 258 00:10:55,155 --> 00:11:01,911 ♪ ♪ 259 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,794 How long has this been going on? 260 00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,963 - Why wouldn't you tell me? - [sighs] 261 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:14,341 You're my sister. This is humiliating! 262 00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,217 - [door opens] - Michael. 263 00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:18,720 I know that Jim is my boss, but I refuse to be deferential 264 00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:20,347 to someone who is practicing subterfuge. 265 00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:22,307 What the hell does "deferential" mean, Dwight? 266 00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:23,767 It me--[sighs] 267 00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,018 Forget it. You know what? 268 00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:27,562 I'll take care of the subterfuge myself. 269 00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:30,732 - [sighs] - You seem tense. 270 00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:33,985 Hey, you want me to give you the chills? 271 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,111 Okay. 272 00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:44,913 There's an egg on your head and the yolk is running down. 273 00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:47,123 - The yolk is running down... - Mm, feels good. 274 00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:50,669 There's a knife in your back and the blood is gushing down. 275 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,797 I'm sleeping with Pam's mom. Sometimes dinner. 276 00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:59,719 The blood is gushing down, the blood is gushing down. 277 00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:02,013 You know, I really would've appreciated a heads-up 278 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,515 that you were into dating mothers. 279 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,225 I would've introduced you to mine. 280 00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,477 Come on. Look at her hands. 281 00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:09,270 [chuckles] 282 00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:12,816 I'd like to see Pam's mom crush her own applesauce. 283 00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:19,781 I'm not sure if people got my email or not, 284 00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:21,241 'cause no one responded, 285 00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:23,702 but there's some delicious coco leche up here, 286 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,787 courtesy of the Halperts. 287 00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,128 Well, then more for me. 288 00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:36,172 So anyway, if you want some, it's here. 289 00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:42,971 Erin, you don't need to make announcements about the candy. 290 00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:45,598 Just leave it on your desk and Kevin'll eat it. 291 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,851 There will be no more announcements. 292 00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:57,694 They're going fast. [laughs] 293 00:12:57,736 --> 00:12:59,863 Due to a certain recent incident, 294 00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:01,406 corporate has asked all the branches 295 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:02,574 to come up with ideas 296 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:05,160 as to how we can better communicate 297 00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:07,704 with our communities. 298 00:13:07,746 --> 00:13:09,748 Is this because of the "60 Minutes" segment 299 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,167 about working conditions in our Peruvian paper mill? 300 00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,626 That was a hit job. 301 00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:16,338 If you read the Dunder Mifflin press release, 302 00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:19,758 it clearly states that they had absolutely nothing to do 303 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,260 with that particular cancer cluster. 304 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,971 So if there is a lesson to be learned here, 305 00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:27,474 and I'm not sure that there is, it is that 306 00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:29,309 in order to help our communities, 307 00:13:29,351 --> 00:13:32,187 we need to put other peoples' needs ahead of our own. 308 00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,355 [laughs sarcastically] 309 00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,523 And whoever comes up with the best idea 310 00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:36,733 gets a $50 gift certificate 311 00:13:36,775 --> 00:13:38,360 to the restaurant of his or her choice. 312 00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:39,527 [all voice approval] 313 00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:40,904 Good, good. Okay. 314 00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:44,532 Who wants to help the world one step at a time? 315 00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:45,700 All right, good. 316 00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,118 Volunteerism is important. 317 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,788 Every weekend I volunteer at the local animal shelter, 318 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,373 and they need a lot of help down there. 319 00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:54,376 Last sunday I had to put down over 150 pets all by myself. 320 00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:55,710 All right. That's-- 321 00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:57,545 Paint a mural of Chicano leaders. 322 00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:58,880 All right. 323 00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:00,256 I have a way to make Scranton a better place. 324 00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:01,341 You could leave it. 325 00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:02,717 [laughter, oohs] 326 00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,594 Okay, I'm outta here. See you later, guys. 327 00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:06,888 - And stay out. - Promise to write. 328 00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:09,891 Oh, no, here's an idea. Conservation. 329 00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:11,643 I love it. Conservation. 330 00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:14,312 Let's start by conserving our time 331 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:17,315 and stop having these stupid meetings. 332 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,441 - Hmm. - Yeah? 333 00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:19,901 Of course I'm pissed. 334 00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:24,614 Michael... stupid Scott is dating my mother. 335 00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:27,283 [sighs] But you know what? 336 00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:28,743 This is an office, 337 00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:31,996 and because Michael is incapable of it, 338 00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,582 it looks like I have to be the adult. 339 00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:37,877 No more meetings! No more meetings! 340 00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:41,673 No more meetings! No more meetings! 341 00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:44,718 Anybody else? Who else has an idea? 342 00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:46,177 I have some ideas about conservation. 343 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,595 - [ring tone plays] - Yes, Angela. 344 00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:49,139 - Thank you. - Please. 345 00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:50,932 Would you hold down the fort? 346 00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:52,726 - Hey, boo. - First of all, I think that... 347 00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,728 - What's--why are you crying? - Yes, and I think we should 348 00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:56,104 - look into that. - Shh. 349 00:14:56,146 --> 00:14:58,273 - What--what did she say to you? - Speak up louder. 350 00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:00,608 - Well, our profit and loss-- - Shh! 351 00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:02,318 No, I'll talk to her. 352 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,446 I will--no, nobody talks to my baby that way. 353 00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:07,991 Uh-uh. Yeah, I'll let you know how it goes. 354 00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:10,243 All right. Bye, pickle. 355 00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:12,620 Who's "pickle"? 356 00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:14,372 Pamela morgan beesly, 357 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,875 you need to apologize to your mother right now. 358 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,085 I'm sorry, I was told I had the floor. 359 00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:20,045 Yes. 360 00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:21,379 Whoa, hold on. What's going on? 361 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:24,716 Nothing. Nothing at all. It's all good. 362 00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:27,218 I'm not apologizing to anyone. 363 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,137 Michael owes me an apology. 364 00:15:29,179 --> 00:15:31,306 For trying to find happiness in the arms of a lover? 365 00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:33,016 Don't call my mother your lover! 366 00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:34,142 Ooh, yes! [all ooh] 367 00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:35,602 That's what I'm talking about. 368 00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,645 That is not okay, dude. 369 00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:38,730 All right, in my defense... 370 00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:39,981 Disgusting. 371 00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:41,316 That's messed up, man. 372 00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:43,026 Yes, thank you. Welcome to my personal hell. 373 00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:44,736 You have no sense of boundaries, Michael. 374 00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,112 Shut up, Oscar. Hey, all right, 375 00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:47,822 you know what? Clearly I'm outnumbered here. 376 00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:50,241 But could I just say one thing? 377 00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:51,785 Please? 378 00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:54,496 What is so wrong about me? 379 00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:56,289 I'm caring. 380 00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:57,999 I'm generous. 381 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,544 I'm sensual. 382 00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:04,089 Is it really so horrible 383 00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:08,885 that I could possibly go out and find happiness? 384 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,182 Good luck, Michael. 385 00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:16,059 I hope you find what you're looking for. 386 00:16:16,101 --> 00:16:17,310 Maybe you're right. 387 00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:18,895 - Who are we to-- - Shut up, Oscar. 388 00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:23,191 What is wrong with all of you? He is sleeping with my mother! 389 00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:25,193 I don't think there's a whole lot of sleeping going on. 390 00:16:25,235 --> 00:16:27,487 Let's get back to the matter at hand. 391 00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:29,197 Whatever. You know. 392 00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:31,324 Sleep with my mom, sleep with everybody's mom. 393 00:16:31,366 --> 00:16:32,575 No, no, no, no. 394 00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:34,119 Whoa, that's my mom you're talking about. 395 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,328 I don't like the tone here. 396 00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:37,080 This is a place of business. 397 00:16:37,122 --> 00:16:39,916 You are to listen to others, you are to give others respect, 398 00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:42,043 and you are to keep your personal issues out of it. 399 00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:45,046 [laughs] Oh, my God, you are ridiculous! 400 00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:46,715 Do not talk to me that way! 401 00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:47,966 I am your boss, 402 00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:50,385 and I may someday be your father, so get out. 403 00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,887 You are never gonna be my father. You get out. 404 00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:54,431 I hope that you are willing 405 00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:56,266 to die in this office, because I am. 406 00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,144 Me too. 407 00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:10,363 I have a lot of experience with bullies. 408 00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:12,157 Whenever I started a new school, 409 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:15,326 I would know who they all were by the end of the first day. 410 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:18,872 And make no mistake, Pam is a bully. 411 00:17:18,913 --> 00:17:21,499 And she is the worst kind of bully-- 412 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,626 a girl bully. 413 00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:33,678 - You need to talk to your wife. - Nope. 414 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,638 You need to either make her understand 415 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:37,223 or you need to fire her. 416 00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:39,726 I will not work under these conditions. 417 00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:41,061 I'm Switzerland. 418 00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,438 Well, I'm Micheal-ville. 419 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:46,733 I need you to side with me on this. 420 00:17:46,775 --> 00:17:48,234 You're the boss. 421 00:17:48,276 --> 00:17:49,944 Everybody here considers you to be the boss 422 00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:51,654 - more than me. - No, that's crazy. 423 00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:53,406 'Cause you've been the boss way longer, 424 00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:56,201 so you've dealt with situations just like this dozens of times. 425 00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:59,079 I think that you can solve this, 426 00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:02,290 because I am not that smart. 427 00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:04,793 Toilet guard? Golden Ticket? 428 00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:06,252 You're a creative mastermind. 429 00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:08,421 You have a relationship with Pam. 430 00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:10,256 You know her better than I do. 431 00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:12,384 Michael, you know Pam way better than I do. 432 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:15,762 That's only partially true. 433 00:18:15,804 --> 00:18:17,555 I am an idiot. 434 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,182 You're brilliant, man. 435 00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:20,558 You--you know-- 436 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,102 I wouldn't even know where to start, Michael. 437 00:18:22,143 --> 00:18:24,979 You are an excellent moderator, 438 00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:27,190 - boss, friend-- - You are the greatest 439 00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:29,067 sleight-of-hand magician I've ever seen. 440 00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:30,360 You're the man for the job. 441 00:18:30,402 --> 00:18:32,237 That's why you were promoted. 442 00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,072 I can't lie anymore. You're a genius. 443 00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,949 Well, okay. 444 00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,784 All right. 445 00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:39,327 Stupid wedding. 446 00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:41,246 If I had known the outcome, 447 00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,498 I would have stopped at third base. 448 00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:47,502 - Hey. - Hey. 449 00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:49,546 Pam, how's your day going? 450 00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:51,464 Pam, just for the record, 451 00:18:51,506 --> 00:18:53,216 I think you're overreacting a little bit. 452 00:18:53,258 --> 00:18:55,135 Your mom's old enough to make her own decisions. 453 00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:57,178 Oh, well, thanks, Oscar. 454 00:18:57,220 --> 00:18:58,763 I was just wondering, 455 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,515 how would you feel if Michael was sleeping with your mom? 456 00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:03,143 My mother's in a wheelchair. 457 00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:05,103 Well, he could still... 458 00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:10,025 - I'm sorry about that. - Wow. 459 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:13,361 Oh, could I just get you to sign this second page as well? 460 00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:14,863 Between sleeping with one boss 461 00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:17,490 and having her mother service the other boss, 462 00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:20,994 looks like somebody's poised for promotion. 463 00:19:21,036 --> 00:19:23,788 Ryan, I have to ask you a personal question. 464 00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,582 Do you think that I should get a fedora? 465 00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:27,751 Uh, I don't think so, no. 466 00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,336 Why? I think I'd look really hot in one. 467 00:19:29,377 --> 00:19:30,462 Where'd you get your fedora? 468 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,088 I'd rather not say. 469 00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:34,299 You think I'm gonna get the same fedora as you? 470 00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:36,551 - Hey, Dwight. - Shh. 471 00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:38,011 I think I would look really cute... 472 00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:39,346 It has to go with the persona that you already have. 473 00:19:39,387 --> 00:19:40,889 But I-I think I have that persona. 474 00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:42,015 Where did you get that mallard? 475 00:19:42,057 --> 00:19:43,016 What the hell is a mallard? 476 00:19:43,058 --> 00:19:44,642 That! 477 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,978 Oh, Professor Damon D. Duck. 478 00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:48,229 Jim gave him to me. 479 00:19:48,271 --> 00:19:49,356 Okay, I gave that to him as a gift. 480 00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:50,523 I'm taking that back. 481 00:19:50,565 --> 00:19:52,108 If you take it back I'll scream. 482 00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:54,361 [sighs] 483 00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:55,862 I'll give you five bucks for it. 484 00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,697 20. 485 00:19:57,739 --> 00:19:59,199 - Ten. - Deal. 486 00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:04,579 You're so cool. 487 00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:08,375 This reminds me, you owe me three bucks for gas. 488 00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:10,377 Hey, Toby, could I talk to you for a minute? 489 00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:12,003 Yeah, sure. What's up? 490 00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:13,546 Um, I just wanted to apologize 491 00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:15,423 for taking that tone with you earlier. 492 00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:17,384 That was uncalled for. I'm sorry. 493 00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:21,471 Uh, yeah, that means a lot. Thank you for saying it. 494 00:20:21,513 --> 00:20:22,639 Can I sit down for a second? 495 00:20:22,681 --> 00:20:24,224 Yeah, or pull up a chair and sit. 496 00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:25,517 Or on the shredder. 497 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,227 [clears throat] [plastic creaking] 498 00:20:28,687 --> 00:20:31,731 This is gonna sound weird, 499 00:20:31,773 --> 00:20:35,235 but I think I may be the victim of a hostile work environment 500 00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:36,736 with this whole Pam situation. 501 00:20:36,778 --> 00:20:40,073 Should probably deal with that outside of the workplace. 502 00:20:40,115 --> 00:20:41,783 She brought it into the workplace, 503 00:20:41,825 --> 00:20:43,743 so I feel like it has to be dealt with here. 504 00:20:43,785 --> 00:20:47,288 Yeah. Okay, well, I mean, I could talk to her. 505 00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:49,332 - Really? Would you do that? - Well, yeah. 506 00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:51,001 That's why--that's why they pay me the big bucks. 507 00:20:51,042 --> 00:20:54,170 [laughs] 508 00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:59,092 You're a good, good guy. 509 00:20:59,134 --> 00:21:00,969 Um, okay. 510 00:21:01,011 --> 00:21:03,096 You know, I always knew if Michael just took the time 511 00:21:03,138 --> 00:21:05,348 to get to know me we'd become friends. 512 00:21:06,558 --> 00:21:08,184 Hey, Pam. 513 00:21:08,226 --> 00:21:10,854 Could I talk to you for a sec? 514 00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:12,981 Sure. What's up? 515 00:21:13,023 --> 00:21:15,358 Well, I was hoping that maybe 516 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,485 in light of everything that's happened today 517 00:21:17,527 --> 00:21:19,821 it'd be a good idea for you and me and Michael 518 00:21:19,863 --> 00:21:22,407 to head into the conference room for some conflict resolution. 519 00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:24,075 What's the matter, can't fight your own battles? 520 00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:26,911 No. That's... 521 00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:28,830 I think you should just take the rest of the day off. 522 00:21:28,872 --> 00:21:30,999 Oh, would that make you feel better? 523 00:21:31,041 --> 00:21:33,626 I don't--I'm-- I can't hear your conversation. 524 00:21:33,668 --> 00:21:37,255 You can tell Michael that I'm not leaving. 525 00:21:38,590 --> 00:21:39,883 [sighs] 526 00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:44,012 Buddy, I think that we can't make her leave, so... 527 00:21:44,054 --> 00:21:45,805 Yeah, yeah, you're-- okay, you're a jackass. 528 00:21:45,847 --> 00:21:47,223 Hey. Hey, you know what? 529 00:21:47,265 --> 00:21:48,808 Your just as stubborn as your mother. 530 00:21:48,850 --> 00:21:50,977 When you don't want to do something, you just don't do it. 531 00:21:51,019 --> 00:21:52,228 [laughs] 532 00:21:52,270 --> 00:21:53,646 Michael, you're just her rebound! 533 00:21:53,688 --> 00:21:55,565 You were right, Jim, I should've listened to you. 534 00:21:55,607 --> 00:21:57,233 Should never have told her. 535 00:21:57,275 --> 00:21:59,277 What? You knew? 536 00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:00,779 [scoffs] 537 00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:03,656 Barely. I... 538 00:22:03,698 --> 00:22:05,658 I don't have all the facts. 539 00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,744 [goofy voice] Frank and beans... 540 00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:11,873 Okay. 541 00:22:11,915 --> 00:22:13,416 Do you want me to stop dating your mom? 542 00:22:13,458 --> 00:22:14,668 Is that how we're gonna get past this? 543 00:22:14,709 --> 00:22:15,710 'Cause I will. 544 00:22:15,752 --> 00:22:18,254 Mmm... yes. 545 00:22:18,296 --> 00:22:19,714 Well, that is not gonna happen! 546 00:22:19,756 --> 00:22:21,091 Then why'd you even offer? 547 00:22:21,132 --> 00:22:24,135 Because I assumed that you want me to be happy 548 00:22:24,177 --> 00:22:26,554 because I want you to be happy. 549 00:22:26,596 --> 00:22:29,349 Michael, let me make this very easy for you. 550 00:22:29,391 --> 00:22:31,851 I could give a [bleep] about your happiness! 551 00:22:31,893 --> 00:22:33,478 Stop dating my mother! 552 00:22:35,063 --> 00:22:37,148 You know what? I'm gonna start dating her even harder. 553 00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:38,525 What's that supposed to mean? 554 00:22:38,566 --> 00:22:40,944 You know what it means. 555 00:22:40,985 --> 00:22:43,238 [breathes deeply] 556 00:22:45,990 --> 00:22:47,158 - Hey. - Shove it. 557 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,327 Yep. 558 00:22:49,369 --> 00:22:52,539 Well, all things considered... 559 00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:56,209 this is the worst day at work I've ever had. 560 00:22:56,251 --> 00:22:58,545 I don't need to be friends with Pam. 561 00:22:58,586 --> 00:23:00,505 I have plenty of female friends. 562 00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:04,759 My mom, Pam's mom, my aunt-- 563 00:23:04,801 --> 00:23:07,554 although she just blocked me on I.M. 564 00:23:07,595 --> 00:23:09,556 What's-her-face from Quiznos. 565 00:23:09,597 --> 00:23:11,474 I see her four times a week. 566 00:23:17,188 --> 00:23:19,482 [quietly] Dwight, you brought the mallard back. 567 00:23:19,524 --> 00:23:22,402 Well, I had to. I mean, Kelly was not-- 568 00:23:22,444 --> 00:23:23,945 [whispers] Hi, buddy. 569 00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:33,621 [sighs] 570 00:23:37,292 --> 00:23:38,418 I'm sorry. 571 00:23:38,460 --> 00:23:40,503 - A wooden duck? - Mallard. 572 00:23:40,545 --> 00:23:44,716 I put it in your office in order to surveil you. 573 00:23:46,092 --> 00:23:48,386 I was jealous that you got the promotion over me. 574 00:23:48,428 --> 00:23:50,972 Okay, just to be clear, you're terrible at this, 575 00:23:51,014 --> 00:23:52,599 and you're not equipped for espionage. 576 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,393 - Oh, I'm equipped. I can es-- - Nope. 577 00:23:55,435 --> 00:23:56,811 Don't tell Michael. 578 00:23:56,853 --> 00:24:00,648 I won't, but you will wash and buff our car. 579 00:24:00,690 --> 00:24:03,401 Punishment fits the crime. I accept. 580 00:24:04,569 --> 00:24:07,113 Good night, everyone. 581 00:24:07,155 --> 00:24:08,656 Good night, Pam. 582 00:24:08,698 --> 00:24:10,492 Thanks again for the rum. 583 00:24:12,452 --> 00:24:14,079 - Night, Michael. - Good night, Erin. 584 00:24:17,082 --> 00:24:19,876 Hey, Pam, can I see you for a second? 585 00:24:23,672 --> 00:24:27,300 So Dwight heard you were having a really rough day, 586 00:24:27,342 --> 00:24:29,636 so he generously offered to wash our car. 587 00:24:31,513 --> 00:24:35,350 - Aww, he did that for me? - Yes. He did. 588 00:24:37,018 --> 00:24:38,645 You know what was nice? 589 00:24:38,687 --> 00:24:41,356 - Night swimming in Bio Bay. - Mm. 590 00:24:41,398 --> 00:24:42,816 Remember that older couple 591 00:24:42,857 --> 00:24:44,275 whose kids were also named Jim and Pam? 592 00:24:44,317 --> 00:24:46,152 Yeah. 593 00:24:46,194 --> 00:24:48,196 Oh... 594 00:24:48,238 --> 00:24:50,073 say more nice things. 595 00:24:50,115 --> 00:24:52,701 Well, we went on a segway tour. 596 00:24:52,742 --> 00:24:55,412 - And we're awesome at it. - Yes, we are. 597 00:24:55,453 --> 00:24:58,581 [goofy voice] And frank and beans. 598 00:25:00,250 --> 00:25:02,168 Maybe I'm overreacting. 599 00:25:02,210 --> 00:25:05,130 Yeah. Maybe. 600 00:25:05,171 --> 00:25:08,216 - But I don't think I am. - You're not. Nope. 601 00:25:08,258 --> 00:25:10,510 - [sighs] - Nope. 602 00:25:11,553 --> 00:25:13,722 - [elevator dings] - Uh-huh. 603 00:25:13,763 --> 00:25:15,390 Well, we could just skip the restaurant. 604 00:25:15,432 --> 00:25:17,142 Come right over. 605 00:25:17,183 --> 00:25:19,936 I just scored a bottle of rum. 606 00:25:19,978 --> 00:25:21,104 Mm-hmm. 607 00:25:21,146 --> 00:25:23,523 A little rum for my lady's tummy-tum-tum. 608 00:25:23,565 --> 00:25:25,567 It's got a parrot on it. 609 00:25:26,735 --> 00:25:29,070 No, I don't know what that means either. 610 00:25:33,158 --> 00:25:35,577 Whoa, where'd you get that hat? 611 00:25:35,618 --> 00:25:37,495 I'd rather not say. 612 00:25:40,081 --> 00:25:41,166 [door shuts] 613 00:25:57,682 --> 00:26:00,143 [grunts] 614 00:26:00,185 --> 00:26:03,021 [Jim's voice] We have our high-quality 28-pound bond, 615 00:26:03,063 --> 00:26:08,568 our heavier 38-pound bond, or our s-- 616 00:26:08,610 --> 00:26:11,112 I've got eight hours of this. 617 00:26:12,822 --> 00:26:14,657 Of course I wanted Jim to find the mallard. 618 00:26:14,699 --> 00:26:16,785 Make him feel safe. 619 00:26:16,826 --> 00:26:18,286 Did you really think I would put 620 00:26:18,328 --> 00:26:22,749 my primary listening device in a wooden mallard? 621 00:26:22,791 --> 00:26:25,669 I'm not insane. 622 00:26:25,710 --> 00:26:27,295 65-pound cover stock, 623 00:26:27,337 --> 00:26:29,089 which is the heaviest paper that will still 624 00:26:29,130 --> 00:26:30,965 feed smoothly through your desktop printer.